2005-05-05 - 1:36 a.m.
So, I just got this email from Joey Mohan informing me that I do not blog enough, so here goes: babies, it is recital season again!!! Y'know what I'm sayin'? I ain't got no free to time for bloggin', talkin', birthin' no babies, et cet-er-ahhh until May 15th, but I'll tell you what I'll do--I'll give you a little pieceaheaven (I'm reading Last Exit to Brooklyn, bear with me) to last you until mid-May (I know you're all salivating cuz you're just too damned excited). Last night I went and saw the play that Jaret was in. It was called something akin to "The Supreme Laying of all of the Tigers" or whatever (JK). It was called something else that is equally exciting. He played a gargoyle. They made my baby shave his head and all of his facial hair (and before you jump all over my case for being far too preoccupied with looks, think, real quick, about the person you're into. You got it--that image of that person? Okay, now imagine them bald and missing, like, an ear or something. Who's shallow now?), and they covered him in liquid latex. My baby looked like a human rock--which, ultimately, was what he was supposed to look like so yay for all those people who suffer for their craft and whatnot. Then, after the play, he introduced me to his ex-girlfriend who was there and, incidentally, is an Amazon princess with blonde hair and blue eyes and a real small ass. It was awesome. I have a cold and was bleeding from my vag like a stuck pig so I felt super-hot. God bless relationships and baggage and exes and whatnot.
This ultimately led to he and I having to have a chat regarding giving a sister a head's up in this piece when your ex-girlfriend is in town and is going to show up at your play all dressed like she's in some goddamn Vogue fashion show with her matching purse and shoes and shit.
I'm sleep-deprived and full of coffee and cigarettes.
I'll call you all next week after I'm done dealing with a bunch of fucking tutu-clad preschoolers who insist upon taking all of the oreos that I laid out all pretty on a platter during dress rehearsal, eating the cream centers out, and putting them back on the platter as if they were normal, whole cookies. Those little fuckers are sneaky.
